Somebody Said

by Renee Hawkley

"Somebody" said a mother is an unskilled laborer.
"Somebody" never gave a squirmy infant a bath.

"Somebody" said you know how to be a mother by instinct.
"Somebody" never took a three year old shopping.

"Somebody" said that "good" mothers never yell at their kids.
"Somebody's" child never sent a baseball through a neighbor's picture window.

"Somebody" said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in books.
"Somebody" never had a child stuff beans in her nose.

"Somebody" said a mother always adores her children.
"Somebody" never tried to comfort a colicky baby at 3 am.

"Somebody" said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
"Somebody" never organized seven giggling Brownies into a cookie-selling brigade.

"Somebody" said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
"Somebody" never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

"Somebody" said your mother knows you love her, so you don't have to tell her.
"Somebody" isn't a mother.

From the book Don't Come in Here! Mom's Throwing Spaghetti by Renee Hawkley

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