by The FunniesThe Best Position To Pray Is
The Best Position To Pray Is...
(From Pastor Tim)
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer.
"Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."
From Andy's Archives on Marriage
Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got one.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he had. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
We Don't Want You To Leave
The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate.
After the service a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!"
The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me".
"Yeah", she said "That's what they said the LAST time too!!!"
Good song - bad timing
A doctor in Buffalo wondered why his practice was decreasing. He consulted a physician friend who agreed to spend a few days in the office and observe his methods.
After an hour, his friend had the answer, "Wilbur, you'll have to stop humming ‘Nearer My God to Thee' when writing out a prescription."
As posted on The Funnies, a Christian humor and devotional e-mailing AndyChap@aol.com
Fractured Bulletin Inserts
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.