In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."
On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."